Happily Ever After. So often we see this at the end of Disney movies, read it at the end of books, or during wedding times it is printed on things. What does Happily ever after really mean? I know we all know our life isn’t going to be like Cinderella, Belle, or one of the other Disney princess. The whole movie they are struggling, then they get the kiss that changes everything, and they “live happily ever after.” Why in our minds, do the struggles end at the kiss?
Think back to the times you were dating those were the easy times. I mean come on let’s be honest. We were all still on our best behavior, you weren’t living with them, seeing them at ALL times, happy, sad, and every other emotion in-between. So why do we think at the end of the movie their struggles stop? I mean let’s sit back and think about it. If our before the kiss (dating) was the easiest, then that is how it would have to be for Disney movies, right? If Cinderella had it “easy” before the kiss can you imagine what was coming after the kiss? Can you imagine marrying someone just because you spent one evening with them and it was "enchanting." I think we all had to kiss a few frogs before we found our, "prince." What if her enchanting night was a frog? That would be a fun conversation....
"The shoe fit!"
"Let's get married."
....after the wedding.....
I think we could all fill in the blanks with fights they had. Can you imagine marrying someone that you truly had only spent one evening with? I mean come on, think of the fights you had your first year of marriage and you felt like you knew them.
So, back to my question, what truly is "Happily Ever After." I don't think it is at all what is in a book, or showcased at the Disney parade. I think it is the mess we create in marriage. Nothing in marriage is truly neat, tidy, planned out, and clean. I don't think Happily Ever After truly means it all worked out perfectly. I can't imagine being with someone who just always agreed. I would get bored. I think Happily Ever After is truly learning to do life with someone else. It is the opening up, letting go, learning to be loved while learning to love. Yeah, I have always been loved by family, but I let's be honest a spouse's love is different than a way a parent or that type of family loves. Happily Ever After is the waking up before the crack of dawn to work out because I know that I am going to work at school and then at the office for at least an eleven hour day and won't have the energy the workout at night. Happily Ever After is the late nights when we wake up on the couch with the little box popped up on the tv asking if we are still watching. Happily Ever After is working through blending "my parents," and "your parents." Happily Ever After is learning how to live together. Learning how to still fit in, "me" time without the other person filling left out. Happily Ever After is admitting you don't know it all and that I am willing to learn. Happily Ever After is the fights, the hurt feelings, the emotions. Happily Ever After is the look I get when I have yet again burned another meal, or just happen to pull into another restaurant on our way home because I just have no clue what to cook. Happily Ever After is when I get in bed at night and sometimes find little pieces of glass in the sheets because he was too tired to take off his work clothes the night before. Happily Ever After is living on a teacher's salary knowing his dream will get us farther and we need to make sacrifices for it. Happily Ever After is real life. No no one's life is Disney perfect, but as I said before I actually think it would be boring, and it wouldn't let the great times be as great. If all you ever ate was Chick fil A chicken nuggets, they wouldn't taste near as amazing when you get them ever once in a while. I love the mess we have created. The fun times are so much better because of the struggles.
Happily Ever After is exploring new worlds, new cultures, new lives. Happily Ever After is the laugh I hear when I walk in and say, "I think the beach is calling our name." Happily Ever After is the smile I get when I walk in the office after a long day of him trying to run the office alone. Happily Ever After is when he reaches down and kisses me on my forehead. Happily Ever After is when he walks in with my coffee in the morning. Happily Ever After is the smile I see after I drag him to another place, and he ends up loving it. Happily Ever After is OUR LIFE. It is what we have made of it. It is so much better than any Disney Happily Ever After I can imagine. Happy Anniversary, Thank you for being my Happily Ever After. I love you.